Matt Shobert, firefighter mental health advocate, is on a mission to challenge the stigma surrounding firefighter mental health. Here, he discusses his recovery process and why it is important to find power in vulnerability.
After entering the fire service in his mid-20s, Shobert found solace in the regimen. He was a troubled youth and believed that his responsibilities as a firefighter gave him a newfound purpose- something to really focus on. In this conversation with Fire and Safety Journal Americas, Shobert explains how his new career set him off on a path of success for life.
It was only after experiencing a severe injury in the 29th year of his career that Shobert’s life was completely derailed. His journey through recovery left him with the prevailing sentiment that the taboo surrounding mental health needed to be removed. In this interview, he explains how he coped throughout the recovery process and offers advice to any firefighter who might be struggling.
Many first responders fear that they will be deemed weak by their colleagues if they come forward and admit that they are struggling following their last call or having trouble sleeping or drinking too much.
I think for many, the biggest challenge is surrendering and being vulnerable. The message I always preach is “Just surrender to the process and be vulnerable”, I believe that vulnerability is a strength. There is always help available, whether that be a friend or phoning a suicide hotline. There is a power in admitting that you aren’t yourself anymore, that you are drinking too much or considering harming yourself. I personally struggled with suicidal ideation when everyone thought I was this amazing hero making a great recovery after I was severely injured 12 years ago. My journey through recovery led to me losing my career and the pain alongside numerous treatments I underwent all became too much and I was ready to give up.
There are some amazing resources out there, including the Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, run by Jeff Dill. He personally helped me when I was at my lowest and ensured that I got the help that I needed.
Dogs have an unimaginable level of compassion, empathy and love.
I got my dog Butters nine months before my injury and he was this crazy energetic puppy until I came home from hospital. He’d spent a week in doggy daycare and I don’t know if he smelled or just sensed the extent of my injuries, but he was a completely different dog. He was an empathetic soul that just knew when I was struggling, he was there for me when I was depressed- often dropping a tennis ball on my lap to let me know he was there.
This led to me getting him some additional socialization training and after a few tests, he was certified as a PTSD dog. He’s been with me every step of the way throughout my recovery. Butters is now 13 and he is failing quickly but we are making sure we give him the best life possible. He deserves it.
I’m incredibly honest about my story and I don’t hold anything back. I’m also not afraid to call on the “brotherhood” of the fire service, they know who is struggling in their departments and so they need to make sure they are there for them. It is important to rally around those individuals, rather than covering for them or ostracizing them.
During my talks, I never shy away from the blood and guts of it all. I’ve had over 20 colleagues that I’ve worked with who have taken their own lives. I don’t want to refer to these suicides as being a part of an epidemic, but it is a taboo subject that we are starting to talk about. We do, however, need to do a lot more about it.
The cost of publishing my own book was incredibly expensive, especially once you factored in assistance and editing. Every nickel I’ve hade off the book I have given back to the fire service in the name of mental health. The motivation behind this was because I felt I had a story to share; I had some answers to questions that are out there.
I often joke that I feel I have tried every treatment on the market. Reiki, somatic experiencing, Tai Chi, yoga and meditation- I’ve even been hypnotized. The truth is, none of it has worked perfectly for me, but together it’s all synergistic and the key is to just work hard and try different things.
When other people feel really down, they close all the windows and shut the doors and in sit in their chair and mope. When I find myself spiralling, I force myself to go on an arduous hike or to the gym, this allows me to be present and it really changes my entire outlook on the day.
Usually, I can see in someone’s eyes if they are struggling. It’s in their lack of eye contact and their behavior.
If I can see someone suffering, then I put them in contact with an organization like the FBHA, which is an amazing resource for helping damaged firefighters. I’m a big believer in just speaking up and calling someone’s bluff when you can see them struggling.
I actually had a colleague who rang me about six years ago to tell me that he didn’t want to be alive anymore. He told me that he had his gun in his hand, but he lived in a completely different state to me and so I could not immediately reach him. Instead, I called 911 and asked them to route me across the country to a completely different state so that I could speak to the Sheriff’s Department there.
Once I was in contact with them, I was able to organize for my colleague to be collected and put in a 72- hour psych hold- this gave him the environment to get back on the right track. Never surrender—help is available, good help.
